Divorce Process Options - How to Decide

When you are considering the process for ending your marriage, the various ways to navigate the process can seem confusing.  Although it is technically a legal process, how you reach the final binding resolutions can happen in numerous ways.  Because there are options, your divorce process can be tailored to your particular circumstances.  There are more formally structured processes, like litigation, with deadlines, ethical standards, and process norms.  Alternatively, there are more adaptable, flexible processes like collaborative law or do-it-yourself options that can be adjusted to meet you where you are at.  And to make things even more confusing (or more flexible), you can almost always shift processes in the middle of your divorce if your needs change.

So, how do you know which process is best for your situation? First, learn about the various process options.

Once you understand the potential options, how are you going to decide the best process for your circumstances?  Your choice of divorce processes should consider the complexity of the issues, the level of control you want to keep in the outcomes, and the logistics (like timing and costs).  It is imperative for you to understand the pros and cons of each process and make an informed decision before proceeding.  From amicable negotiations to adversarial litigation, understanding the various process options is crucial for individuals seeking to navigate this challenging terrain.  Here are ten considerations when choosing a divorce process.

1. What are my priorities and goals? Reflect on your priorities and goals for the divorce process. Are you primarily focused on preserving relationships, minimizing conflict, achieving a fair division of assets, or prioritizing the well-being of your children? Understanding your objectives will help guide your decision-making process.
2. How well do I communicate with my spouse? Assess the level of communication and cooperation between you and your spouse. Are you able to engage in productive discussions and negotiate effectively, or is communication strained and conflict prevalent? The ability to communicate openly and work together collaboratively can influence the suitability of different divorce processes.
3. What is the level of trust between me and my spouse? Consider the level of trust between you and your spouse. Do you trust each other to be transparent and honest in disclosing financial information and negotiating agreements, or is there a lack of trust that may hinder a more cooperative process?
4. Am I willing to compromise and negotiate? Evaluate your willingness and ability to compromise and negotiate with your spouse to reach mutually acceptable solutions. Are you open to exploring creative solutions and making concessions, or do you prefer a more adversarial approach where decisions are made by a judge?
5. How complex are the legal and financial issues involved? Assess the complexity of the legal and financial issues involved in your divorce. Are there significant assets, debts, or business interests that require expert valuation and analysis? Complex legal and financial matters may necessitate the involvement of attorneys and neutrals or experts to ensure thorough resolution.
6. What is my budget for legal fees and expenses? Consider your budget for legal fees and expenses associated with the divorce process. Are you prepared to invest in extensive attorney representation and court costs, or do you prefer a more cost-effective alternative such as mediation or collaborative law?
7. What is the level of emotional readiness for the divorce process? Evaluate your emotional readiness and capacity to navigate the divorce process. Are you emotionally prepared to engage in negotiations and make decisions about sensitive issues such as child custody and support, or do you anticipate needing additional support and guidance?
8. Are there any safety concerns or power imbalances? Assess whether there are any safety concerns or power imbalances that may impact the choice of divorce process. If there is a history of domestic violence or significant power differentials between you and your spouse, prioritizing safety and protection may influence the selection of a process that ensures your well-being.
9. What are the preferences and needs of any children involved? Consider the preferences and needs of any children involved in the divorce. Are you and your spouse committed to prioritizing the best interests of your children and minimizing the impact of divorce on their well-being? The ability to co-parent effectively and maintain a positive relationship with your children may influence the choice of divorce process.
10. Have I explored all available options for dispute resolution? Finally, ensure that you have explored all available options for dispute resolution, including mediation, collaborative law, attorney settlement and litigation. Research each option thoroughly, seek guidance from legal professionals and consider which approach aligns best with your unique circumstances and preferences.

By carefully considering these questions and factors, you can make an informed decision about the most appropriate process for your divorce, ultimately empowering you to navigate the process with clarity, confidence and resilience.

See the PartWise quiz to help you determine the right divorce process for you and see the downloadable Process Options handout to better help you differentiate the processes.