Vacations - Adapting Schedules for Time Away

Incorporating provisions for travel and vacation time into a parenting plan ensures that both parents and children can enjoy meaningful, uninterrupted time together while minimizing potential conflicts.

Travel During Parenting Time

There are various ways to handle vacation time and travel in your parenting plan.  Start by thinking about how you typically travel and what’s expected moving forward. Commonly, each parent can take the children out of town as often as desired during their scheduled parenting time because it doesn’t impact the other parent’s time. While such travel shouldn’t impact school or agreed-upon extra-curricular activities, it is common to allow for flexibility and freedom to travel during your individual parenting time.

Travel Outside of Parenting Time

The challenge with vacation and travel occurs when the time away interferes with the regular parenting time schedule. If you have regular transitions every 2-4 days, it makes longer term travel impossible without the other parent giving up some of their regular time.  Flexibility and some agreements to override parenting time for vacations and travel often feels better for families. Mapping out the details in the parenting plan can avoid conflict and make sure you both have similar opportunities to spend this special time with the children.  

On the one hand, sometimes parents choose to leave the travel out of the parenting plan and just work it out as it comes up.  You could certainly agree to changes in the parenting plan as they come up.  However, an ongoing negotiated travel and vacation schedule like this could limit your ability to plan for longer term travel and makes the potential for vacations reliant on how you and your co-parent are getting along.  To avoid conflict in the future, it is often best to confirm opportunities for vacations and travel in the parenting plan.  

It is common to have an agreement that each parent is allowed to take the children out of town or on vacation for a specified number of days or weeks per year, superseding the regular parenting time schedule. This arrangement provides opportunities for extended vacations, which can be especially beneficial during school breaks or holidays. For instance, parents might agree to two weeks each summer and one week during winter break. This time will override other parenting time and may or may not be “made up” upon a return from vacation. Sometimes parents shift around parenting time before or after vacation to even out the time with the kids that is taken up by a vacation.  Others may shift right back into the regular parenting schedule after a vacation to avoid the complication of adjusting regular parenting time which can be tough in schedules with many transitions (like a 2-2-3 or 3-4-4-3 schedule).

Other Considerations with Travel

Even with an agreement on the amount of vacation time allowed, the scheduling of travel and vacation times should be by mutual agreement or with communication between parents.  You should not withhold travel time or be unreasonable – both of you should work together to be flexible and permissible in vacation time within the terms of the agreement.  But at the same time try and be conscientious of the children’s schedules and activities to avoid too much disruption in their regular routines.  You may agree on timing for notification of travel (such as the parent seeking travel or vacation time advising the other parent at least 30 days before the proposed dates to ensure ample time for planning and agreement). Alternatively, parents may agree to set vacation schedules by a specific date each year, such as March 1st for summer vacations, to facilitate advanced planning.

Travel Without the Children

Additionally, some parents like to have agreement on the ability to take vacation time without the children during their scheduled parenting time. This arrangement allows parents to rest and rejuvenate or attend to personal matters.  Some parents have a regular trip with friends that would be impossible to continue without overriding the parenting time. Think about whether or not you would like to provide options on this type of travel in the parenting plan to avoid conflicts and ensure the children's well-being.

Notification of Travel to Co-Parent and the Children

If you reach an agreement on vacation and travel, it is important that neither parent tells the children about a proposed vacation without first discussing the dates and destination with the other parent. This practice prevents potential disappointment or confusion for the children if the plans are not finalized or agreed upon. Both parents also have a right to itineraries and knowledge of the schedule when the children are on vacation or out of town.  The off-duty parent should be able to communicate with the children in a reasonable manner based on the children’s age. And you may need some additional coordination if there is international travel because rules and regulations sometimes require documentation of both parents’ approval of travel with only one parent.

Overall Guidelines on Travel

To effectively implement travel and vacation provisions in your parenting plan, consider the following guidelines:

• Clear Communication: Maintain open and respectful communication with your co-parent to discuss travel plans and resolve any potential conflicts.
• Advance Planning: Provide ample notice for proposed travel dates to allow both parents to plan accordingly.
• Flexibility: Be willing to adjust schedules and make compromises to ensure both parents and children benefit from vacation time.
• Documentation: Keep a written record of agreed travel and vacation plans to avoid misunderstandings and ensure clarity.

By thoughtfully incorporating travel and vacation provisions into your parenting plan, you can create a structure that allows both parents and children to enjoy meaningful, uninterrupted time together while minimizing potential conflicts and ensuring a cooperative co-parenting relationship.