Discernment Counseling - Helping you Decide on Divorce

Discernment counseling is a specialized form of counseling designed to help couples who are considering divorce gain clarity and insight into their relationship.  It is an opportunity to openly communicate about each spouse’s feelings and explore their options for the future. Here's everything you need to know about discernment counseling:

Purpose: The primary goal of discernment counseling is to assist couples in making a thoughtful and informed decision about the future of their relationship. It is specifically geared towards couples who are uncertain about whether to continue working on their marriage or proceed with divorce. The outcome of discernment counseling is a clear decision on next steps and some guidance and support to enter into the process with care and compassion. A good discernment counselor can even help you decide on the best legal process for your situation and educate you on options.

Process: Discernment counseling typically involves a series of sessions with a trained therapist, either individually with each spouse or together as a couple. During these sessions, the therapist facilitates open and honest discussions about the reasons for considering divorce, the underlying issues in the relationship and the potential paths forward. Unlike traditional marriage counseling, this therapy is not focused on preserving the marriage, but rather making a decision on whether to divorce or not.

Neutral and Non-Biased: The therapist in discernment counseling serves as a neutral and non-biased third party, providing a safe and supportive environment for couples to explore their feelings, concerns, and aspirations. The therapist does not take sides or advocate for reconciliation or divorce but instead helps couples gain insight and clarity into their own desires and motivations. Typically you would not engage in discernment counseling with a therapist either of you have used personally or a marriage counselor you have worked with previously.

Exploration of Options: Discernment counseling encourages couples to explore all available options for their relationship, including reconciliation, separation, or divorce. The focus is on helping couples gain a deeper understanding of their relationship dynamics, communication patterns and individual needs and desires, empowering them to make a decisions that align with their values and goals. And if you decide to move forward with divorce, your counselor may help with the transition into a non-adversarial process if possible.

Limited Duration: Discernment counseling is typically short-term and time-limited, consisting of a few sessions spread out over several weeks. The goal is to provide couples with the tools, insights, and clarity they need to make an informed decision about the future of their relationship within a relatively brief timeframe. It is solution focused and ends upon a decision to either divorce or shift back into the relationship and potentially work on the marriage with other support systems.

Not Marriage Counseling: It's important to note that discernment counseling is distinct from traditional marriage counseling or therapy. While marriage counseling focuses on improving communication, resolving conflicts, and strengthening the marital bond, discernment counseling is specifically aimed at helping couples who are unsure about the viability of their marriage explore their options and make a decision.

Confidentiality and Privacy: Like any form of counseling, discernment counseling is conducted with strict confidentiality and privacy. Couples can feel assured that their discussions and personal information shared during sessions will be kept confidential by the therapist.

In summary, discernment counseling is a valuable resource for couples who are contemplating divorce but are uncertain about the best course of action. By providing a neutral and supportive space for exploration and reflection, discernment counseling empowers couples to gain clarity, insight, and confidence in making a decision that is best for their individual and collective well-being.